by Kaylee Pare

You know that feeling of guilt? When you try your mightiest to stretch time and love to every facet of your life? For me, the list is long (as I’m sure yours is); work, family, friends, boyfriend, blogs, my own sanity and all those little things I find myself committing to (in no particular order). This is not a complaint, just a general feeling of strain. When I get home from work at around 6:30 on a good day, all I want to do is blog. It’s really my favourite pass-time and I know in my heart that if I keep at it, it could become a career one day. The trouble is, I always seem to be substituting something or someone. I’ll never intentionally put my blog first from my relationships, but I often find myself reaching for my laptop two minutes after dinner or immediately once I’ve entered the door. It’s nothing personal, it’s a passion, one that I cannot leave behind. Writing and researching makes me happy, I even secretly started writing a book the other day…and I don’t even know why. Anyway, even if you don’t have a blog, I know you’ve felt this before. When I moved away from home for the first time, one of the toughest things I dealt with was coming home to so many people who deserved my time, but just one weekend to see them all. I’ve read about first-time mothers who have this feeling too, all they want to do is care for their child, but they can’t break the ties they had before or give up the responsibilities they had pre-baby. So, I guess this is a life-long feeling. Guilt-ridden thoughts that make you wonder if people are angry with you for cancelling or upset if you feel the need to blog every night.

The only solution I can think of is doing what feels right. Selfish is not as bad a word as it’s made out to be; sometimes it’s necessary and warranted. After all, we should be allowed to direct our own lives, do what makes us happy, with the people who make us smile…and the blogs that force us to be honest and work hard.

Precisely. :)

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